Wanderlust

wan·der·lust
noun
a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about

To think I've been harbouring wanderlust for the past year and a half.

Never thought I'd be one who'd want to travel. Never thought that I'd be bored staying still and being stable. Never thought I'd be one who wouldn't mind inconvenience and uncertainty.

I was going though my old blog posts (yup, time for that annual reflection), and sometimes it astounds me how much my dreams have changed in three to four short years.

Just before I graduated, I knew exactly where I wanted to be and what I wanted to be doing. I'm still sure of that, but now these expectations have been given wider interpretations.

Hard knocks keep your feet on the ground, I guess. They also force you keep re-thinking your expectations, so that you don't disappoint yourself.

It's a tad surreal to read through the entries from 2010, when I was just starting to play around with the idea of moving away from Singapore. Back then, I thought about the options that I could use to turn this idea into reality.

I documented the days I searched through the different universities and courses, trying to find one that was suitable. I whined about those who did not take me seriously, thinking that this was a phase I was going through to gain attention.

I filtered out the negative thoughts and soldiered on, continuing with my plans and Korean language classes, not really knowing if what I was doing was the right thing or if I was just being plain silly.

But I've learnt to accept that there is only one constant in my life that I can depend on: CHANGE.

Yup, those coins jingling and jangling in your pocket, cos I always need them to buy my brekkie in the morn.

Haha, bad joke.

Anyways, you never know what's gonna hit you next, and you can never be fully prepared for anything. So let's just take what comes, deal, and move on.

I've been extremely fortunate this year. Yes, there were a number of huge boo-boos this year, but at the same time, God has been so kind to bless me and my family so much this year.

- Our house is now as pretty as it can be, we've had enough money to renovate it to our liking, even though the process was a bitch and it was a chore trying to get used to the new changes in our home. We've still got a number of things to buy, but those will have to be one at a time.

- My sister has graduated from university! It wasn't an easy thing for her, since she took a year off her studies, and as a result she was not able to gain entry to any of the local universities. But now that's all good and done with, here's to better things for her and for her future! <3

- Even though my uncle's restaurant in Thailand didn't take off, God blessed us with a wonderful windfall to help us tide the storm over. It was unexpected, and we're deeply grateful for this. And I have faith that in this new storm that we're facing, God will surely continue to be with us to help us again. Of course, nothing works by just praying, and we're doing our best to make sure that we'll be alright.

- I've had unbelievable luck to be able to travel so many times since I graduated. This year alone, I was able to visit Taiwan and Korea. Korea twice, too. Travelling means so much more to me than shopping, eating and being a tourist. Though my travelling experiences are limited, I believe my mind has been opened up by the many different sights, smells and sounds from places so different than what I am used to. I am thankful to be able to have discovered so many new things - they, in turn, have fuelled my desire to get out of my comfort zone.

- As soon as I got back from Korea in April last year, I made the decision that I wanted to experience life there. Since then, it has been more than one and a half years' of preparation. Decisions were made, researched was done, plans and letters were written. I didn't hope for much, and I still harbour some self-doubt. Will I be able to live on my own? Will I be able to adapt? Will I be worse off there than I already am here? Will I like snow? Questions with no answers now, but perhaps in six months' time I will be able to formulate some conclusions. I've got just the winter song while waiting, too!

Super Junior - Snow White


(C'mon, don't tell me you didn't see that coming!)

It may only be five items long, but that blessings list represents an infinitesimal amount of joy.

The biggest lesson I've learnt this year? I've come to realise that I need to only fight the battles I can win. That way, I will never lose. Muahaha.

And so, with that thought, I will continue soldiering on in 2012.

Thank you again, God, for the blessings you have showered upon us in 2011. Please continue to watch over us in 2012.